Snake Oil

A few year’s back I wrote marketing copy for a snake oil company – just for the fun of it. I have lost track of most of them, but here are the few I have left.

Having trouble solving the last straw? Fail early! Ask early! As soon as you ask, the answer will magically appear in your own mind. Having trouble failing early? You need Snake Oil (TM) from Nobody’s Business!

Real words don’t sell. You need Sssreal Words. Sssreal Words (TM) – Another smooth product from the original inventors of Snake Oil, Nobody’s Business: Tantalizing the English speaking world Sssince 1066 (TM).

New product from Nobody’s Business: Snap Snake Oil – Abrasive and Explosive in a fun way! The friction from a snap is sufficient to ignite it, causing a series of explosions that sound approximately like a thousand rattle snakes.

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